Daddy

It's interesting to me how I've chosen Psychology as my major specifically to get into the lives of others and help them out, but I find myself digging into my own. I never really dealt with my father passing. I just took the situation in and marked it as another devastating thing that has happened to me, another person walking out of my life, another person who God has taken into his Kingdom... And left me with the fear to love, for loving someone results in me losing them. It's been a little over 7 years since that day that I came home from school dropped my school bag and ran into my mom's room to discover that I couldn't call you anymore, I couldn't make visits out to Chicago to see you because you were now resting with the Angles, and I haven't forgiven myself for that because instead of calling you more like I now wish I could have, I spent time being angry because you waited so long to tell me that you had been diagnosed with cancer and might not make it. "I love you, and will always love you," is what you said to me the night before you passed. Your death has affected me greatly... no more daddy to tell me why the boys are being mean, no more daddy to later in life to tell me about the opposite sex, and no more daddy to walk his baby down the aisle on her wedding day.

From this experience I have learned that you should always tell someone how you feel because they may not be around tomorrow, and not everyone you love you will lose. I miss you terribly and I know you are with me each and everyday.

I love you,

Jazzy

Standing on my own

So within the past year I have gained so much independence, from moving out of my mom's house, to paying my own bills. From going to the doctor's off to going grocery shopping. Whatever the case may be I'm 19 years of age and standing on my own because my mom has prepared me for what i will/have face(ed).

Sincerely,
Standing on my Own

What life has been like for me

Within these last couple of month, my life has raised several questions for me, what am I going to chose for my minor, where I want to go for grad school, what exactly i want to do with my life.... and these are still questions that I don't have the answers to right now.
But I've learned to trust in the Lord, and let him work the kinks out for me....

And in these last couple of months I have learned to let go, and understand that if they don't come back there's a reason for it.
There are lessons that we all have to learn and decisions that we all have to make

So I'll keep you posted...

Sincerely,
Confused and then some...

walking a friend home in my apt complex i look to my left nd see WILD MUSHROOMS!!

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I'm on my back to Tucson for my second year in college... I'm moving into my very first apt, w/ the other ladies... I'm looking forward to the people i meet, the things i will get to learn, gaining another year of experience nd knowledge, and maybe even find a lil romance
May the Lord bless me along the way!

Jazzy!

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Chile con sol cont'd

Well I'm sure you remember me telling you about my night, @ Chile con sol well it resulted in me getting a e-mail from the dean of students!!!! I was like what?! you can't be serious, well I had to go in for an apt, and I thought that i would be able to keep from getting in trouble, well turns out I'm in violation of an Alcohol policy that they have @ the university for students... well my punishments are;

A letter being sent home to my parents ( that wasn't hard telling my mom, she just laughed at me, and said you will never live this down)

15 hours of community service, at a non-profit organization

80 charge to my student account, because i violated a policy

I have to take a alcohol awareness class

and finally, I'm on probation for three months!

Lesson#1 Stop trying to grow up so fast
Lesson #2 Just wait until your 21

Summer of 09

My 2k9 summer has been filled with some very exciting things, and I also learned some things about myself along the way.

A few things I learned;

Was that if i just take the time, and put in the effort it is easily possible to continue to get good grades in my classes....

Hard work pays off, with a promotion I received at work!!! Yay me!!!

This was my summer to experiment with new things such as; Piercings, and tat's

I now have a total of 8 piercings, count them 8!!!!

The next thing that is my pride and joy is my first tat, which is a Japanese lily! I chose to get it because I love Japanese art, the colors, and designs are so beautiful to me (hope you can make it out)

But besides the tat, and piercings, I have been truly lucky to learn something about myself;

I often tend to doubt my abilities, and carry less confidence w/ myself, but it's something that I'm starting to work on....

I've even been able to find someone to make me happy, and actually because of him I'm starting to feel like there's a part of me that has been awakened, and I'm truly grateful for him... It's actually funnie because today I was reading an e-mail from a friend that said something like "God puts people places for a reason", and I just started laughing because I think back to that day, If it wasn't for me deciding not to go to class, and being late to meet my friend for lunch I might not have met him, but I did, and now I do...

A summer time filled with excitement, and even finding a bit of romance, looking forward to what the school year will bring!!!

Till then,

Jazzy

My night at chile con sol

It began like any other night, chilling with friends, running into each others rooms to get ready to go out... the occasional sip of a drank, my choice of poison for the night (99 apples w/fruit punch kool-aid , and patron w/ sprite). Hit the bar around 11 something after taking pics with each other, danced and joked around for a bit, met a few ppl... ran into some Co-workers, then the party really got started ppl started coming outta the wood works... and I got a free drink from the Dj "that's my DJ"... lol

So I'm dancing drinking having a good time, when the music cuts off and a bartender yells for everyone to stay inside because some ppl got busted selling drugs in the parking lot, and the cops still have not left yet... So "shake the monkey" by too short comes on (that's my hit till this day FYI), so you already know that I had to twirk someone off (and ohhh i did that, even lost breath doing it!)

So after I caught my breath I'm just chilling and talking when the front doors to the bar open, and the cops start flashing flash lights... a few ppl start running to the back throwing down their bottles of beer, and trying the hide the cops come in and says "have your id's ready if you want to leave".... Of course they let the 21 and older go home, but the 18-20 have to stay, and anyone who didn't have their Id's...

I'm waiting @ the door, and the cops pull out the Breathalyzers, an officer calls me over asking me questions... I was sure he was gonna give me the test he asked
"have you been drinking tonight"
I told him yea, but before I came here... and he said
"you do know that it is illegal for you to drink underage right?"
I told him yea, I do..
He asked a few more questions, and said that i wasn't under arrest and I was free to go...

While I'm sitting in the car waiting for my three other friends to come, I'm texting everyone, posting it to my FB wall, Tweeting about it... and all three of my friends come out with tickets... they all blew over the legal amount which is .008.... one blew 2.0, the other 2.67, and the youngest blew .009 (and she drank more than everyone)... It was truly by the grace of God that I did not get the test, maybe it was because I was one of the people who had their I'd, or that the cop saw honesty in my eyes when he was asking me questions... Cause I sure as hell kept eye contact with him!!!

WHAT A NITE!!!

yes tht would be me!!

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so this is wht i see everyday.. while i'm sitting outside eating my lunch w/ friends. but jst watching sparrows i find them really cute.. but pigeons can stay away from me!.. lol

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So today i was in a car accident.. not too far from campus.. but it was a three car collision.. we were in front.. not too much damage done to the car... really had me shooken up.. had me thinking about all of the possible outcome... we were all jst blessed tht the accident wasn't bad like some i've seen... i could really fear being in an highway accident... always wear ur seatbelt

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Woman

Woman was made from the rib of man she was not created from his head to top him, neither from his feet to be stepped on by him. She was made from his side to be equal to him, from beneath his arm to be protected by him near his heart to be loved by him

Tips for weight loss!

hopefully in a month's time I will be able to incorporate this, and make my lifestyle a more healthier one :).

1. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. - I know everyone hears this, and thing yea yea whatever but seriously did you know, that the more you eat for breakfast the less you will want to eat during the evening... the less your will spend eating everything that come in sight.
Eat Five meals a day... 3 sensibly portioned meals, with 2 light low-calorie snack.

2. Water. - I know we all hate it but remember it used to be the only thing on this earth before kool-aid, and soda was made. (soda's bad for your digestion anyways).
But in case you didn't know, your body needs water to keep you hydrated.. it's recommended that you consume 8-10 glasses of water per day, but remember you can also find water in vegetables, as well a fruits.
Also drinking a glass of water 10-15 before a meal, you will feel fuller before the meal is done (it's never good to over eat, use the push away method, cause if not your stomach will expand, which means it will take more to fill your stomach.

3. Use weights. - Go to a gym and work with weights, it's been proven that using weights will help to increase your metabolism which helps burn the calories faster, which helps the weight peel off.

4. Eat proportioned meals. - use smaller plates, and don't pack on the food (it will still be there).
A tip when going to the restaurant, when ordering ask the waiter to put half into a doggy bag for you (proportioned meal).
Another interesting tip; when purchasing plates use darker colors, because their not so appealing to or appetite (for example have you ever seen fast food colors??, they do that for a reason).
If the intake of energy (food) is less than that output.. then you can expect to see some results.
Also foods high in fiber will help as well.. because fiber cannot be digested, so it spends less time in your body.

5. Learn how to read a nutrition label. - not all foods and drinks advertised saying fat free, are always the best choice for you... they often hold the highest calories.

6. Keep a journal- be honest when writing what your eating, how much of it, and at what time. because seeing it on paper will make you think twice before making a choice.

7. Remember, go easy on yourself - well all need breaks at times.


Where i go my information from;http://allwomenstalk.com/7-fastest-ways-to-lose-weight/2/

biggest lesson i learned today;

biggest lesson i learned today;
stop living in the past, because there's a reason they ddn't make it to ur future!

my baby!

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09 Graduation!

well today about 10 o'clock I woke up, and began "my beautification process" to prepare to see old friends... Had two outfits, and finally narrowed it down to one!...

Late getting there... parked all the way in the back... lol

Had trouble finding the person with our tickets.. lol

Sat through, and didn't hear a word of the ceremony, just looking around at ppl we haven't seen in so long...

Said our hello's, and some goodbyes

Thought back on our graduation day, and took pictures with friends!

What an excellent day

I have a twitter now!

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, I TWIT NOW SO ADD ME;

jj20015159

Gotta love itunes!!!

Okay so today i discovered that you can rent movies through itunes!!!! How awesome is that?? gives you a chance to pay 3.99 to view a movie before you pay the $20 some odd dollars to buy a movie, get home and find that it was a waste of your $20, you know... So once again you just "gotta love itunes!!!"

Fascinated with itunes

My review of Twilight

So i like literally finished watching the movie, and you know what ladies and gents I LOVED THE MOVIE!!!!!, i mean there were some characters that i would have changed, like Bella she could have been a stronger actress, but she performed decent enough for my taste. Her father Charlie i expected him to look different, he looked Hispanic to me... lol and the Clearwater kid, for some reason throughout the four books i expected him, his father, and his friends to all be white, but when talking about an Indian reservation i should have known, but still the Clearwater son doesn't quite fit my description, he father does to the T... But i still enjoyed the movie very much, had me giggling, and laughing, the entire time, I'm already anticipating the second....

I give it 4 stars baby!!!!

It's just a simple question that takes some thought (what if was you?)

So I was in my religion class today, and usually at the beginning of each class my teacher will play a song to begin the period off, well today he chose to play "World on fire" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzoNInZ2ClQ) by Sara McLachlan, and the video has some things that will really get you thinking, it begins by asking what's wrong with this video, then it goes on to say that it took only $15 dollars to make this video, then it started going into detail how much it actually is to shoot a video, and how all that money could be going to a third world country to help with medicine, food, etc... but I just got me thinking about how as of right now many people including myself do nothing to help make the lives better for them. It's like that old saying; out of mind out of sight, you know if the issue isn't smack dab in your face then it's not an issue.

But my question for the day is what if that was you?

Chruch Experience

Okay so one day I was at Church, while we were doing something for Black History Month, the pastor did not preach, but the Deacons did say many prayers... However moving on with my story. Throughout the entire service i was weepy from start till end, the children from the Church did a praise dance, as well as some of the older women... I'm telling you Gospel music can bring out those emotions that you try to hide. But it was towards the end of the service when the Pastor called those up who needed to be prayed for, or knew someone that needed to be prayed for, well my friend went up to the front and i stayed behind just praying for my family. The pastor begins going from person to person resting his hand on their head to say a short prayer when he stops turns around and says to the crowd "The lord is telling me that someone in this house of God needs the power to forgive some"... And there it was the tears just began to flow, because throughout that entire service i kept thinking to myself how I really have not forgiven my Ex(if that's what you want to call it) for the way our situation ended, and, by the pastor saying that i realized that If i can't forgive someone then how should i expect God to forgive me for my sins??? Deep moment for me yall, but while i was crying everything around me became silent, and i heard a faint voice tell me that someone was comming for me, and just to hold on...

I am truly blessed.

Road to Redemption; espisode with Trey

Okay so this so far has been my favorite episode from Road to Redemption( yes i know I'm super late posting this). But yes this episode was about a 15 year old boy by the name of Trey, who is involved in a gang. It was such a good episode for me.
Problem: The show revealed that he was trying to take on after his father, and brother who were both incarcerated, and his mother was trying so hard to steer him from that direction because she wanted him to go to college and become a real man.

Solution: T.I took him around town telling him about his dearest friend who just recently died because of gang violence, but when Trey wasn't listening T.I. took him to see his Uncle( or something like that) and he told him going down this road only has two outcome death, or jail, and I think that this was the breaking point for Trey to see, that boy knew that he didn't want to die..

Why I'm glad: I'm glad to see that Trey decided to change his ways, because of his promise to T.i. and also because he began to see that the life he was living was not for him. I'm also happy that his mother got her wish to see her son(who's doing awesome in school now), making the grades, and taking care of business at home

Favorite quote: "I found out that i can be like myself and nobody else" Trey

The Road to Redemption; 45 days to go

Now this morning I woke up and came into my dorm room, and turned on the T.V. on the MTV channel and saw a preview for a new series, which follows the 28 year old drug dealer, turned rapper T.I.(Clifford Harris Jr.) along for 45 days as he attempts to change the lives of seven kids...


The reason behind this is because in March T.I will be doing year in prison because of his 2007 arrest due to gun charges, and before he is sentenced he must do 1000 hours of community service...


My opinion on this, I don't have any sympathy for him because he has been stuck in this predicament before, however by him choosing to do his community service out in the open and trying to change 7 lives is something worth cheering for, cause he could have easily just chose to do his community service out of the public eyes


That's that,

Jazzy

New years resolution...

so my new years resolution this semester was.... nothing, cause so many times i have made one and it never worked out, or i treated like it was some fad, but it was funny going to the gym today and seeing so many girls in the gym, guess i know what most women's goals were "to loose some weight" I just wonder how long it will be before i don't see many of them here anymore...

but yea that's my outlook on new years resolutions..

Jazzy

Atonement

Now this movie i was trying to see since it came out in theaters, and once it went to DVD i was trying to catch it then too, lol. Sad to say it's been on DVD for some months and I was finally able to sit down with my progresso chicken noodle soup and some ritz crackers, to watch the movie... I started off not understanding what was going on but by the end of it I understood. Now keira Knightley (Pride and Prejudice) is in the movie and everyone I have seen her in I just love the movie even more. She is an actress that never bores me. Her mom in Pride and Prejudice (another fav) is in this movie as well, as a mom lol. but atonement is about a girl who wrongly accuses Knightly's love, saying her rapped her friend, and he had the choice of staying in jail for going to the army, of course he chose the army. Knightly's sister try to make her relationship with her sister okay but it never does, and she writes a book about it called Atonement...

-Jazzy

Sex and the city, the movie

Okay i recommend this movie to anyone, and the best part about it is that you don't have to follow the series just to understand what's going on. I'm sure you already know it's about four women who are all in some form of a relationship. One who's such a sex feign but in a relationship for 5 years, one who's happily married, one who's married with a cheating husband, and finally one who was dating a man for 10 years... The women's relationship just reminds me of how i had my cliques and these were the one's who knew everything about you, and each person all had something special about them.. love it :)

Ps i love you

Okay now this movie is my new favorite movie, I just love it. The major actors are Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler and Lisa Kudrow. It's about a woman who loses her husband to cancer, and on her 40th birthday she receives a tape recorder with a cake and it's him sending her letters helping her to get over his death and find love... beautiful movie :) i recommend it to anyone who like romance

Back at it again

well now I'm just chilling in my room after my last class with a huge space till 3 today!!!.. i love my Mon & wed schedule.. my Friday too.. lol although i would love not to have a class at all, but hey you can't have everything you want right?? lol but looking @ this picture is what my classroom are like he he, so this semester my classes are food nutrition and you, traditions of love, Spanish 3rd semester, and finally the physical universe.. lol some interesting classes right??

well this semester my earliest class is at nine don't know why i did that to myself.. ohh wait i know cause i wanted to be done early and not late.. but hey I'm kool with my schedule...

I'm looking forward to improving my GPA this semester cause last wasn't a good look at all, but i have a game plan and I'm gonna follow through.. so wish me luck y'all

outtie till next time

Jazzy

So i'm back in Tuck Town (Tucson)

well around 3 today i arrived back at my home sweet away from home, home... (if that just made any sense...lol) but i arrived back here with my step- dad, and i guess you call him my step- cousin... but i don't know.. but man let me tell you leaving the house was the hardest for me because I'm such a mommies girl and it was soooo hard to walk out and leave her, i got home and when it was time to go i ddn't want to leave, i got so used to being home.. jeez
it just really makes me realize how strong i make myself seem, now don't get me wrong i am a strong woman, but I'm not superwoman
I'm not sure if I've said this before, but going to college is preparing me for when i really leave home, and go my own way..
but surprisingly i was unpacked, and getting dressed for a BBQ i attended later on yesterday evening... i guess packing and unpacking so many times you become a pro @ it... especially when you have Ur new generation 4 ipod to jam to.. lol
but I'm outtie
jazzy

what's on my head today...

hmmm well I'm in my room right now just counting down the days till i gotta get back in the groove of school.. dayum lol, but this time i think it will be a bit easier to leave this time, I'm kinda thankful that i have had an opportunity to go to college away from home cause it prepares my mommie, and i for when it's time for me to really leave :/.. I'm such a mommas girl :)...

So right now I'm waiting for resident evil 5 to come out on 360 which i plan to trade in my Xbox for an updated gaming system.. gotta keep up with technology right? lol

I'm also waiting for harry potter the movie to come out in theaters.. and twilight to come out on DVD cause i have yet to go and see it

but before i go, one question to you.. what do you believe will happen in 2012???
i only ask because so many ppl have been talking about the world ending in 2012.. i don't believe it will because i have someone greater watching over me, but what do you think?