Daddy

It's interesting to me how I've chosen Psychology as my major specifically to get into the lives of others and help them out, but I find myself digging into my own. I never really dealt with my father passing. I just took the situation in and marked it as another devastating thing that has happened to me, another person walking out of my life, another person who God has taken into his Kingdom... And left me with the fear to love, for loving someone results in me losing them. It's been a little over 7 years since that day that I came home from school dropped my school bag and ran into my mom's room to discover that I couldn't call you anymore, I couldn't make visits out to Chicago to see you because you were now resting with the Angles, and I haven't forgiven myself for that because instead of calling you more like I now wish I could have, I spent time being angry because you waited so long to tell me that you had been diagnosed with cancer and might not make it. "I love you, and will always love you," is what you said to me the night before you passed. Your death has affected me greatly... no more daddy to tell me why the boys are being mean, no more daddy to later in life to tell me about the opposite sex, and no more daddy to walk his baby down the aisle on her wedding day.

From this experience I have learned that you should always tell someone how you feel because they may not be around tomorrow, and not everyone you love you will lose. I miss you terribly and I know you are with me each and everyday.

I love you,

Jazzy

Standing on my own

So within the past year I have gained so much independence, from moving out of my mom's house, to paying my own bills. From going to the doctor's off to going grocery shopping. Whatever the case may be I'm 19 years of age and standing on my own because my mom has prepared me for what i will/have face(ed).

Sincerely,
Standing on my Own

What life has been like for me

Within these last couple of month, my life has raised several questions for me, what am I going to chose for my minor, where I want to go for grad school, what exactly i want to do with my life.... and these are still questions that I don't have the answers to right now.
But I've learned to trust in the Lord, and let him work the kinks out for me....

And in these last couple of months I have learned to let go, and understand that if they don't come back there's a reason for it.
There are lessons that we all have to learn and decisions that we all have to make

So I'll keep you posted...

Sincerely,
Confused and then some...

walking a friend home in my apt complex i look to my left nd see WILD MUSHROOMS!!

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I'm on my back to Tucson for my second year in college... I'm moving into my very first apt, w/ the other ladies... I'm looking forward to the people i meet, the things i will get to learn, gaining another year of experience nd knowledge, and maybe even find a lil romance
May the Lord bless me along the way!

Jazzy!

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Chile con sol cont'd

Well I'm sure you remember me telling you about my night, @ Chile con sol well it resulted in me getting a e-mail from the dean of students!!!! I was like what?! you can't be serious, well I had to go in for an apt, and I thought that i would be able to keep from getting in trouble, well turns out I'm in violation of an Alcohol policy that they have @ the university for students... well my punishments are;

A letter being sent home to my parents ( that wasn't hard telling my mom, she just laughed at me, and said you will never live this down)

15 hours of community service, at a non-profit organization

80 charge to my student account, because i violated a policy

I have to take a alcohol awareness class

and finally, I'm on probation for three months!

Lesson#1 Stop trying to grow up so fast
Lesson #2 Just wait until your 21

Summer of 09

My 2k9 summer has been filled with some very exciting things, and I also learned some things about myself along the way.

A few things I learned;

Was that if i just take the time, and put in the effort it is easily possible to continue to get good grades in my classes....

Hard work pays off, with a promotion I received at work!!! Yay me!!!

This was my summer to experiment with new things such as; Piercings, and tat's

I now have a total of 8 piercings, count them 8!!!!

The next thing that is my pride and joy is my first tat, which is a Japanese lily! I chose to get it because I love Japanese art, the colors, and designs are so beautiful to me (hope you can make it out)

But besides the tat, and piercings, I have been truly lucky to learn something about myself;

I often tend to doubt my abilities, and carry less confidence w/ myself, but it's something that I'm starting to work on....

I've even been able to find someone to make me happy, and actually because of him I'm starting to feel like there's a part of me that has been awakened, and I'm truly grateful for him... It's actually funnie because today I was reading an e-mail from a friend that said something like "God puts people places for a reason", and I just started laughing because I think back to that day, If it wasn't for me deciding not to go to class, and being late to meet my friend for lunch I might not have met him, but I did, and now I do...

A summer time filled with excitement, and even finding a bit of romance, looking forward to what the school year will bring!!!

Till then,

Jazzy